I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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