I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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