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Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
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