I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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