i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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