absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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