The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize