We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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