Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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