she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize