Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize