I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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