Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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