Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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