yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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