don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she peed on how many people?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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