i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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