i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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