By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
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WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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