I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
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remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
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Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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