It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize