we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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