So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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