Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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