she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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