My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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