I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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