So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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