Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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