Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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