it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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