mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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