yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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