Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You are the jesus of drinking
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize