he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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