If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize