Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't deserve a penis
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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