I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize