i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
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I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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