after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize