i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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