i barfeds in our rink
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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