she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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