She said her name was "party"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize