NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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