it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
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I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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