Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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