I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
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She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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