I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize