sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize