Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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